Needy Thoughts

There's a series of thoughts running a near constant loop in my head. These thoughts, when expressed, result in much eye rolling from the Lad. Let me go back a ways.

Caution - this post involves stuff about relationships (although nothing bad). I won't be offended if you want to go read something more interesting.

I was determined not to be that girlfriend. We all know that one - she saturates all mainstream movies, TV shows and songs about That-Girl-the-Singer-Likes/Has/Had. She's tiresome because she wants to watch 'girly' movies. She is sulky when her man goes to play with his friends or wants to *gasp* watch sports. She treats all other women as potential threats to her relationship. She nags. She cries to get her way. She's needy.

Needy - I desperately didn't want to be that. And I tried. And by that I don't mean acting like the Ice Princess but the more I thought about it, I didn't know exactly what counted as needy .

Well, at least I don't like chick flicks.

As it turns out, I think about the future a lot. Having never been in a real relationship before I wasn't aware that I had this tendency. Recently it spawned something more complex. What began as 'what would happen if we lived together' is growing into 'how would we raised the kids we might have together?'.

I honestly don't know where this came from! We've only begun being 20-year-olds together and, as I constantly tell my overactive brain, this is neither the time nor the place. And yet the thoughts return with a vengeance.

I still want to have adventures; I'm not ready to become stable.

However, there might be something to all this domestic dreaming. We still live apart from each other. He goes to one school and I to another. He works to make money to pay for his school. I work to gain expereince in my field (and the school thing but I don't live on campus). At their simplest form these thoughts express my desire to continue building a life with the Lad.

Only for the moment I would rather we have adventures together without all the looming questions of stability.

This was decidedly less suscinct than I wanted it to be. I'm probably over-complicating things. Feel free to pat me on the head saying 'there, there little one. All things shall come and go in their own time.' I'm less inclined to believe such things when they come from my own mind.