Step Out Your Door

Just because life is supposed to be fantastic doesn't mean it can't be difficult. I've been having a lot of difficult thoughts lately. Sometimes I just want to go back to the rock under which I spent my childhood and not deal with thoughts of career, life and ambitions.

I don't know what it is about me lately but I'm itching for an adventure of Hobbit-esque proportions. Futures filled with stable careers in architecture, various degree hunts, settling down and all that are not doing it for me. If you don't know me that well yet, I'll fill you in: I get bored of routine, really quickly. It tends to become a problem and leaves my bedroom floor piled with half-attempted hobbies.

To be completely honest, I'm even starting to doubt my desire to continue in the field of architecture. Yes, I know, I've been working toward this career since I graduated high school almost five years ago and and I even work in a firm (how dedicated to an idea can you get). Does this happen to many people?

Friends tell me that my life is far from boring and that I must be nuts to be super busy all the time. I don't feel busy, I feel like I'm in the most ornate of ruts ever constructed. This rut has a lot in it to distract me from the fact that it is, in fact, a long, deep depression in the Earth from which I would have a hard time extricating myself.

I'm not daunted by the idea that uprooting myself will cost money; money comes from working and I have a job that (contrary to what you might think) I do enjoy. It might be that I'm reacting to the onset of adulthood which I was all too eager to embrace.

I feel like I'm whining and that's what bothers me. All things considered there is nothing unpleasant about my existence or the entity that is myself. I do believe it was once written, in the voice of a wise wizard, that it's dangerous business, going out your door. Unfortunately for my sense of self-preservation, throwing caution to the wind and going off to explore seems to increase in appeal every day.